Set The Fire to the Third Bar
by andrews-wife
Summary: Combination of Snow Patrol and Edward's thoughts. One shot.


A/N: This is a little something that I've been kicking around in my head, and I finally got it to transfer from there to the computer. The song is 'Set the fire to the third bar' by Snow Patrol. (Aka, the song for Dear John) But when I heard the song all I could think was "Edward!" Youtube it if you haven't heard it. Just to make sure you know what's going on here, though, this is in Edward POV, after he left Bella in New Moon. And this is all.

~Edward Cullen~

I wasn't sure where I was heading... It didn't matter, since she wasn't anywhere near.

_I'm miles from where you are..._

I knew I was leaving a city by train. The thoughts swirling around in my head did little to distract me, but it did keep me somewhat informed. For the most part, I pretended they weren't there.

_Their words mostly noises,  
Ghosts with just voices..._

I hadn't fed in weeks, but the smell of their blood raised nothing but bile in the back of my throat. Even being trapped in a tin can packed with humans barely phased me. There was little thought put into anything around me. I had no possessions, other then my wallet, containing the plastic that bought me whatever I might need and a picture of her. I kept hopping different modes of transportation, not having any destination in mind, making it harder for Alice to find and harass me.

But none of that mattered.

I had been staring at the muddy streaked floor for awhile now, just picturing her face. I tired to only see her when she was smiling, and while it would start out that way, it never lasted. Even if I would fixate on a specific moment...

For instance; I flipped through my memory banks and landed on an afternoon that I had spent with her. She was watching the television, a cooking show, but I was watching her. I could still remember what recipe she was scribbling down onto a legal pad. Maple glazed pork chops, "For Charlie," she said. I had wanted to tell her that she didn't need to write it down, I could recall everything perfectly, but I didn't. I had my arm thrown over the back of the loveseat, and she snuggled close to my side. I felt a phantom heat on my side, as if I could still feel her there, pressed into me. When it was over, she turned to me and asked cheerfully,

"What do you want to do now?" I paused. Right there. She smiled at me. I feasted for one moment on the life and joy flowing off of her and let it fill me.

_Your soft skin is weeping,  
A joy you can't keep in. _

There was an ease in the ache I had been harboring for so long now, but just hardly.

But then my thoughts started bleeding away, fading like it had been doused with turpentine. I grasped at it's edges, intent on looking for a bit longer, but then it happened again... I could still see her, but now it didn't help, it hurt worse, if that was even possible. Her eyes were wide, and horror struck. She looked devastated, and I knew why. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of her beseeching stare, and some of her heartbroken words drifted through my head...

_Your words in my memory,  
Are like music to me._

My hands clenched together and I ground my teeth against each other, trying to get a hold of the pain seizing my chest. I suddenly felt claustrophobic in this small area, and I was on my feet in a blink. A few heads and thoughts turned to my direction, mostly just those of confusion, and I closed my eyes, trying to clam down, trying to find a quiet place in my head where I could find some peace.

_There is no peace that I've found so far..._

Mercifully, the doors to the subway slid open, and I was the first out. I tried to keep my legs to a reasonable pace, but it was all I could do to keep myself upright. I did my best to block out the hundreds upon hundreds of thoughts and sounds and smells of the city, and sought out what I needed.

Finally; Within reach, are some trees. Once I am swallowed up in their darkness I flee as fast as I can, searching for the quiet that I know is out there somewhere... I can feel my body having a little trouble keeping up with what I was demanding of it, I knew I needed to feed. I kept pushing, kept going, regardless.

_Over rivers, farms, and state lines..._

I pushed until I couldn't any more. I wasn't winded, like a human, more like running on empty.

_I lay down on the cold ground._

I let my eyes close and I pictured a map that led to the only woman in this world that did matter to me. She is my only peace, the only righteous thing I've ever had in my life, even if it was only for such a short time. If only I could go back...

_  
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be  
It's only finger-lengths that I see._

In my head, I had planned it all out.

_After I have traveled so far..._

_We'd set the fire to the third bar._

I would find her, beg for her forgiveness. I would reclaim her as mine.

_  
We'd share each other like an island  
Until exhausted, close our eyelids._

I would spend the rest of eternity making it up to her. And I would make it right.

_  
And dreaming, pick up from.  
The last place we left off._

It would be like I was never gone.

But I knew this was not even a possibility. I had made my decisions already.

And even though I know that I am now doomed to an eternity without her, I couldn't stop the hope I had, that somehow we might be together again, somehow.

_  
I, I pray that something picks me up  
And sets me down in your warm arms._

To be with Bella would be to live again._  
_

_And I, I pray that something picks me up  
and sets me down in your warm arms._


End file.
